Best Cities For Singles

Elisabeth Eaves 08.21.07, 6:00 PM ET

It's been a long time since single adulthood was just a hurried way station between adolescence and marriage. Today the median age of first marriage is rising for both men and women, and singles make up 41% of American adults 18 and over. In fact, most Americans can expect to spend fully half of their adult lives unmarried.

Singles are an increasingly diverse group. Being unmarried these days could mean living with an opposite-sex partner--as 9.8 million Americans did in 2005--or becoming a single mother by choice rather than necessity, a growing trend. Only about one-third of America's 90 million unmarrieds live alone, and about 14% of single adults are over the age of 65. As what it means to be single changes, the growing economic clout of singles as a class means that cities can ill afford to lose them, as sociologist Richard Florida argues in The Rise of the Creative Class.

So what lucky cities stand the best chance of attracting this crucial class? We answer that question in our seventh annual Best Cities for Singles special report. We looked at 40 of the largest urbanized areas in the country and judged them on culture, nightlife, job growth, the cost of living alone, online dating, the number of other singles and that ever-elusive quality, cool. For our complete methodology, click here.

There have been major changes in the rankings this year. The winner: San Francisco, up from fourth place. It ranked first for culture and received high marks for number of singles, nightlife, online dating and cool. (For more on the winning city, see "San Fran's Sexy Solo Scene.") The "city that never sleeps," New York, N.Y., came in a strong second place, thanks to its performance as the country's No. 1 spot for nightlife. Entertainment mecca Los Angeles came in third, Atlanta fourth and Chicago fifth. Rounding out the top 10 are Washington D.C., San Diego, Seattle, Dallas-Fort Worth and Philadelphia.

Denver, meanwhile, our top-ranked city from 2004 to 2006, has dropped to 16th place. But before Denver city elders start beating themselves up over this, we should note that this is largely because, amid several refinements to our methodology this year, we've switched to a new way of defining each city. In the past, the boundaries and population of each city were drawn from the U.S. Census Bureau's list of "Metropolitan Statistical Areas." But in 2007, we've begun using the Census Bureau's "Urbanized Area," which provides a tighter focus on cities themselves.

That means the youthful, nearby city of Boulder is no longer included in our assessment of Denver, and that hurt the Mile-High City a lot. But Denver still has one major draw for singles: It's ranked No. 1 on affordability.

Our switch to the Census Bureau's "urbanized area" definition also means several cities that had been on our list in previous years--Nashville and North Carolina's Charlotte, Greensboro and Raleigh-Durham--are no longer included, since they lack a large enough central population in their urban centers. Several new cities--Jacksonville, Fla., Buffalo, N.Y., Memphis and Baltimore--replace them.

Also new this year: We selected a "most eligible" bachelor and bachelorette for many of our cities. Like any such list, our picks are a bit subjective and somewhat eclectic. We started by getting nominations from locals and held a newsroom poll to determine the winners. We considered only public figures--which is why the list is heavy on athletes and news anchors--and which is also why your brother the charming and handsome surgeon didn't get chosen. To determine eligibility, we merely confirmed that our selections were not married. We did not check to see if they had a "serious" boyfriend or girlfriend.

Of course, being single is about much more than just dating. Providence, R.I., fell to the bottom of our list this year. That's partly because it came in last in the online dating category. But it also scored low in several other categories, coming 35th in job growth. Singles want to know that they'll be able to nurture an interesting and prosperous career, and Providence just doesn't look that promising.

The ease of mobility these days means that the young, educated and unattached can live pretty much where they please. Our special report provides a dash of guidance for singles themselves, as well as to the cities and companies that want to lure them.

San Francisco-Oakland
New York
Los Angeles
Atlanta
Chicago
Washington
San Diego
Seattle
Dallas-Fort Worth
Philadelphia
Boston
Austin
Minneapolis-St. Paul
Houston
Phoenix
Denver-Aurora
New Orleans
Las Vegas
Columbus
Miami

Forbes List: Best Cities For Young Professionals

Matt Woolsey, 11.26.07, 6:00 PM ET

Head to the Big Apple, and your chances of getting the corner office might not be as far off as you think. That's because New York City tops our list as the No. 1 city for young professionals. That likely comes as a shock to, well, no one. Many of America's best companies, as determined by Forbes rankings of the best 400 big businesses and best 200 small businesses, including financial giant Goldman Sachs and media conglomerate News Corp. are in New York. Throw in New York's bars, clubs and world-class dining, and you get a city teeming with young professionals. In Pictures: Best Cities For Young Professionals

San Francisco clocked in at No. 2 and Atlanta at No. 3. Los Angeles, Washington, D.C., Boston and Seattle filled spots four through seven, and Minneapolis, Philadelphia and Denver closed out the top 10.

Behind The Numbers

Our list was compiled by tracking where the graduates of top universities across the country ended up 10 years after commencement; where the best business opportunities exist; which cities had the most young and unmarried people; and which cities paid young professionals the best.

To see where graduates of elite schools chose to pursue their careers, we looked at Class of 1997 alumni location data from six elite universities across the country--Harvard, Princeton, Duke, Stanford, Northwestern and Rice. The data indicated where graduates have settled 10 years later, and where their professional lives have matured.

We then excluded alumni that remained close to school. Harvard grads in Massachusetts--nixed; Dukies who stayed in North Carolina--gone; Stanford Cardinal roosting in California--tossed.

The goal: to determine which cities offer such strong opportunities for young professionals that they're willing to pick up and move across the country for them.

Some cities are bigger than others, of course. So we adjusted where elite grads ended up against overall population size to measure the respective concentrations of young professionals. This allowed smaller cities such as Portland and Austin to compete equally with heavyweights such as New York and Los Angeles.

In Depth: Ladder Climbers Sweet On The Big Apple

In Depth: Cloudy Skies For Tampa's Young Professionals

Then we stirred the locations of prized jobs into the mix. Each year, Forbes selects America's 400 best big businesses and 200 best small businesses. We used the locations of those 600 companies to determine which cities had the best professional opportunities for the under-35 set.

Money is important too. To figure out how far yearly income will go, we measured cities' variations in starting salary using data from New York-based Mercer Human Resource Consulting and adjusted it for cost of living with our own Forbes index; the idea being that the more greenhorn grads a city can attract with a decent salary to cost of living ratio, the more likely they'll stay and develop in that area.

Of course, even the most driven young professionals need to let off steam. With that in mind, the final metric was measured which cities had the highest share of never-married people in their 20s and 30s. Never married is an important qualifier. For example, of the 40 largest cities, Salt Lake City has the third-highest population share of people ages 25 to 34, but its standing as No. 27 in the never-married category really puts a damper on the nightlife. The bottom 10 cities were brought down by a variety of causes. Salary to cost of living submarined Miami, Norfolk, Va., and San Antonio. The inability to attract top grads and top companies hurt Detroit and Las Vegas, and all our measurements converged on Tampa, Fla., beating it down to last place on our list.

Creating Wealth And Abundance… Is There A Secret?

Published by Other Authors under Law of Attraction, Manifesting Abundance
Article Source: Manifesting Life Magick

Is there a person in the world who does not want abundance in their lives? Do people want to live in poverty? Of course not, but how does one go about gaining the abundance they desire?

Why are some people wealthy and others poor? Some might say that it is just the way the world works; the rich get richer and the poor get poorer, and it is usually the rich taking from the poor that makes it so. But, is that true? I guess it depends on perspective.

Granted, there are people who are born into wealthy families, who never have to put much thought into how to get the things they desire, but those are not the people I want to discuss. After all, some people born with a silver spoon in their mouths die bankrupt. I want to talk about the people who have everything they want as the result of doing something to get it.

Why is it that some people seem to attract money, good fortune, fame, etc., while others seem to fail at everything? One word… ATTITUDE!

The Secret, really is no secret at all. It is all in the application of the Law of Attraction. The ‘haves’ know and practice it, and the ‘have-nots’ don’t. It is that simple.

What is the Law of Attraction? It is the scientific principle that states: Like attracts like. If you think about having debt, you will have debt. If you think about wealth, you will attract wealth. If you think about being unhappy, you will be unhappy. If you think about happiness, you will be happy.

For example: When a person focuses on all of the things they don’t have, they become frustrated, angry, and unhappy. But if that same person put the same amount of energy into being grateful for all that they do have, they would begin to feel good. When a person feels good, they go about their day doing things that perpetuate that feeling; attracting more into their life to make them feel even better. When a person feels bad, they tend to do things that perpetuate that feeling too.

Remember what Tinkerbell told Peter Pan…? If you want to fly, just think a happy thought. That is how the Law of Attraction works. Think happy thoughts, focus on them, and take action. You just cannot feel bad, when you’re thinking about good things.

Good thoughts lead to more good thoughts and ultimately to good actions. Bad thoughts lead to more bad thoughts and… You get the picture. People have been writing about it for a very long time. People like: Norman Vincent Peale, Napoleon Hill, Wallace D. Wattles, etc.. They knew about the Law of Attraction and wrote about it. Millions have read their books, and have learned the secret through them. In fact, the hit movie, The Secret, was based on Wallace D. Wattles book, The Science of Getting Rich, which is all about the Law of Attraction.

It all boils down to this: If you want abundance in your life, you must think about having it, not about not having it. Think about what you have, and be grateful for it, what you want; not about what you lack.

What is the Science of Getting Rich about? The ownership of money and property comes as a result of doing things in a certain way. Those who do things in this certain way, get rich. Those who do not do things in this certain way, no matter how hard they work or how able they are, remain poor. It is a natural law that like causes always produce like effects. Therefore, any man or woman who learns to do things in this certain way will infallibly get rich. The Science of Getting Rich Seminar is all about teaching how to do things in this “certain” way to create wealth.
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For more information about the Law of Attraction and how to put it into practice visit: http://luckyfolks.thesgrprogram.com/
Ilona & Christian Fredebeul are two young entrepreneurs from cologne/germany. Since 2005 they work with the most reliable wealth and personal development teachers in the US and share their knowledge and their success with every person willing to learn simple steps and to following proven methods.

Find Happiness By Giving Happiness

Published by Other Authors under E-motions, Life
Article Source: Manifesting Life Magick

Have you ever heard this quote?

“There is a wonderful, mystical law of nature that the three things we crave most in life- happiness, freedom, and peace of mind- are always attained by giving them to someone else.”

It’s so true, isn’t it? I don’t know who it was who first said those wise words (if you do know then please tell me), but I have no doubt they lived a very happy life, because they have discovered one of the secrets to happiness.

In fact, the secret to success in all endeavours is found in this quote. No matter what you desire, give first and you will receive.

If you want to receive love, then give love. Not exclusively to one person, but to everyone and everything. Express love to your life, your circumstances, your friends and family, and even the people you pass in the street. If you love all, you will receive love back, and you’ll become the kind of person who attracts that special person, and those special relationships, and a life of blissful love.

If you want to get rich then don’t do it through the dog-eat-dog world of competition and win-lose deals. Give increased value to others. Wallace D. Wattles talks about this in his book Science Of Getting Rich better than anyone else I’ve come across (see the Resources Page on my website to get a free copy). You get rich by providing more in use-value than the cash-value you receive. You get rich through co-operation rather than competition. You get rich through providing win-win deals. You get rich through providing others with the opportunities to improve their own lives. Once again, give and you will receive so much more back.

The same applies to happiness. If you want to be happy, give happiness.

Turn your focus around. It’s not all about you. Look out into the world and find opportunities to give happiness.

James Matthew Barrie said, “Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves.”

The great Mark Twain said, “The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.”

Give happiness and you will get happiness. It’s the only way.

Who can you make happy today?

Who can you go and see, just to hang out together?

Who can you phone to tell them you miss them?

It doesn’t take much. Smile to someone who is feeling down. Hold a door open for someone behind you. Compliment someone on their clothing. Thank someone for a job well done at work.

Happiness is so easy. Just give it to someone else, and you’ll find more than enough is magically left behind for you.

Give happiness. Be happy. And smile!

Lance Beggs
Copyright Lance Beggs. All Rights Reserved.
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Lance Beggs is the author of “How to be Happy Now”. His mission is to help others live a life of meaning, love and happiness! Subscribe to his FREE ezine at www.HowToBeHappyNow.com

Is Anyone Listening?

If anyone out there is hung up on the judgment that age is a predetermined factor in deciding the level of one's intelligence, I highly suggest you watch this video. We can learn just as much from our youth as they can learn from us. Hopefully sometime during my lifetime I will be able to see them honored as such. Our future generations deserve so much more than we are currently giving them.

Congratulations Cali!!! =)

I’m a firm believer that for any country to thrive (economically, socially, psychologically & spiritually) all forms of oppression and racist hatred towards any population segment has to go. I fully understand how such a belief works against the traditional structure of our capitalistic society wherein some population groups are continuously oppressed for a small percentage to continue to thrive, but who says we cannot thrive as a society based on a paradigm of true equality (not the currently existing pseudo form of equality), as this structural model has yet to be attempted?? I say the California ruling on gay marriage is one step in the right direction of equality for all. And if you disagree please don’t justify it by saying it’s because “your” God said so, as this is not truly God speaking, but this is your oppressive, mind-created, judgmental interpretation of how you believe God wants every person on the planet to live. Oh, and please also keep in mind that church and state are legally (supposed to remain) separate … yes our Prez Bush poorly demonstrates this constitutional law, but what else would we expect … for him to suddenly abide by domestic and international laws?!

California Supreme Court overturns gay marriage ban
21 minutes ago

The California Supreme Court has overturned a ban on gay marriage, paving the way for California to become the second state where gay and lesbian residents can marry.

The case involved a series of lawsuits seeking to overturn a voter-approved law that defines marriage as a union between a man and a woman.

With the ruling, California could become the second state after Massachusetts where gay and lesbian residents can marry.

"What happens in California, either way, will have a huge impact around the nation. It will set the tone," said Geoffrey Kors, executive director of the gay rights group Equality California.

California already offers same-sex couples who register as domestic partners the same legal rights and responsibilities as married spouses, including the right to divorce and to sue for child support. It's therefore unclear what additional relief state lawmakers could offer short of marriage if the court renders the existing ban unconstitutional.

A coalition of religious and social conservative groups is attempting to put a measure on the November ballot that would enshrine California's current laws banning gay marriage in the state constitution.

The Secretary of State is expected to rule by the end of June whether the sponsors gathered enough signature to qualify the marriage amendment, similar to ones enacted in 26 other states.
The cases before the California court were brought by the city of San Francisco, two dozen gay and lesbian couples, Equality California and another gay rights group in March 2004 after the court halted San Francisco's monthlong same-sex wedding march that took place at Mayor Gavin Newsom's direction.

Copyright © 2008 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. The information contained in the AP News report may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed without the prior written authority of The Associated Press.

Copyright © 2008 Yahoo! Inc. All rights reserved.

What Makes a Man Marry?

Does the below article seem on point or far-fetched?

Since more and more women (regardless of what tax bracket we are in) are learning to become independent, due to our society’s continuous movement towards gender equality, I did like the point the author made under idea #2 about the benefits of men and women viewing each other as equals when entering into relationships. I also like the point the author made in idea #3 about men actually being turned on by ambitious, hard working women. There is an urban legend running amonk within our generation that women who are “too successful” will always make men feel threatened. This has always been overgeneralized nonsense to me. But for those who hold on to such thoughts as their own personal truth, I can see how these thoughts can easily manifest into how one experiences life and relationships.

Anytime our thoughts contain such phrases as “always,” “never,” “all the time,” etc., these are what cognitive therapists relate to as maladaptive automatic thoughts. And thoughts are indeed very powerful, as you can literally use your thoughts to determine how you choose to experience any present situation. Sadly, a lot of our automatic thoughts are mistaken for personal truths or facts, so we develop a pattern of focusing on that which supports our personal truths in life, ignoring all potential experiences that can contradict such personal truths.

By D. Zinczenko

January 15, 2008

http://health.yahoo.com/experts/menlovesex/78433/what-makes-a-man-marry/

I have a friend who spent two weeks in Europe with his girlfriend, and some of it didn't go too well. He didn't like the haircut she got pre-trip.

She didn't like the way his eye wandered on the streets of Paris. They fought some. So when my friend got back home, he asked a wise friend (no, certainly not me) what he should do.
Here's the advice he got: Every relationship is going to come up against some obstacles. They'll either break it up, or make it stronger. If it ends, it wasn't meant to be. If you push through, the relationship will be better than ever.

That's stuck with me for a long time, in part because my friend is now 21 years into marriage with that one-time girlfriend. So I'm just guessing that their relationship grew stronger when they faced obstacles. What made the difference for my friend, and for guys in general, when they face that step-up or break-up moment? Here are some ideas....

Marriage Maker 1: (In)dependence

Guys like all the things that can come with marriage - the companionship, the safety, a guarantee of having good sheets on the bed and good reasons to change them. But one of the things they fear the most: that they're going to feel more constricted than David Blaine in an ice block.

While most men understand that being married doesn't mean that they can play six nights a week like they did in their bachelor days, they also want to feel like they have the blessing, support, and encouragement to play golf with their pals every once in a while, to knock a few back at the sports bar when the big game is on, to still feel free even when they've willingly surrendered some independence.

Marriage Maker 2: Adoring, Yet Not Needy

Few things turn a guy on as much as a woman who makes her man feel like he's the only guy for her. And few things turn off a guy as much as a woman who makes her man feel like he's the only guy for her.

Right, both statements are the same, but hugely different. It all has to do with where the woman and man are coming from. If they're equals, they're not making undue claims on each other, and they can be an even stronger pair. If either one of them is weak and needy, however, that emotional burden can drag both partners down. So, throw your partner some compliments and some assurances, but don't tell him the planets spin around him.

He knows they don't, and will question your sanity if you say they do. Especially at the start of a relationship, it won't hurt for him to know that you're perfectly OK without him, thank you very much, but that it's more fun when you're together. A light touch early can produce strong bonds later.

Marriage Maker 3: An Imaginative Mind

There's a lot of press these days about men who worry about dating successful women, that they feel their masculinity is threatened if their women make more money or have more power. To that I say baloney (low-fat).

Men are very turned on by women who have big goals, big dreams, and big imaginations - whether they're career-oriented or not. Because when a woman is driven, that means that she's moving forward, and the whole family is, too.

Marriage Maker 4: Jekyll and Hyde

Not that we want our partners to flip-flop and pretend to be people they're not, but there's something intrinsically exciting about a partner who has the ability to be a sort of chameleon - a little fun and imaginative in bed, yet charming at a family reunion.

It's the all-in-one woman who can equally pull off the roles of wife, mother, boss, friend, neighbor, vixen. That's not asking too much, is it? After all, if a guy is going to commit for a lifetime, he'll want his partner to be able to react to a lifetime's worth of challenges and opportunities, right?

How Negative Emotions Can Lead to Physical Illness

And all this time I bet ya thought expressing yourself in a confrontational manner, holding on to your anger, resentment and/or unforgivness towards others, as well as choosing to dislike or negatively judge others was somehow beneficial to you? Many of use are socialized to create a hard shell for ourselves because we're taught that we have to do so in order to avoid being anyone's doormat. In creating a hard shell we usually hold on to a lot of negativity along the way. Few are taught that if you must "let a person know," you can do so from a non-defensive, non-negative stance. By interacting/reacting in this manner there is a higher likelihood of making a communicative impact on others, verses being just another defensive asshole. In addition, defensive dysfunctional emotions and coping styles can take a brutal toll on your physical health.

As Western medicine continues to adopt more and more to the philosophies of the Eastern World, it is becoming increasingly apparent how the negative emotions that we cling to, about ourselves and others, affects our overall physical health. From the Chinese medicine/holistic lens, some of these toxic emotions are: Anger (resentment, irritability, rage, bitterness, frustration), Sadness, Worry/Pensiveness, and Fear. These emotions become toxic/disease provoking when they are a predominate interactive pattern of existing, intensely and repeatedly felt, or remain repressed/unacknowledged.

Many physicians and therapists believe that there are distinct emotional and mental patterns associated with every illness, including terminal illnesses:

"The way you choose to use your mind and the way you respond to your outer world have more to do with disease than your diet and your environment."

"We have heard in recent years how stress can kill you. Well, it is really not the stress in and of itself that will kill you, it is the way you choose to process the stress that could hurt you or make you very sick. The body in essence is a mirror of our inner thoughts, emotions and beliefs. Every single cell in your body has its own intelligence and is able to listen to what you are thinking and feel what you are expressing emotionally."

"In reality, your cells and your body respond to every thought you think, every emotion you have and every word you speak. Repetitive modes of thinking and suppressing negative emotions such as anger, resentment, bitterness, and hatred can and will eventually manifest as dis-ease in the body. Literally, your suppressed emotions become like ticking bombs waiting for the perfect conditions to detonate and manifest as dis-ease" … find the rest of this article here: http://iridologynow.sandycarter.com/alternative/3557.php

Here is another link re the toll negative emotions take on your physical health re Emotional Healing in Cancer Patients, by Dr. Michael D. Winer: http://www.sungazing.com/673.html?*session*id*key*=*session*id*val*

Here's a link for all you scientific types from the American Academy of Neurology re how negative emotions can trigger a stroke: http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2004/12/041220024019.htm

And lastly a link by Dr. Chang entitled, Study Ties Combination of 4 Negative Traits to Men's Heart Disease Risk: http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=77637

*Please note that it is more common for people to identify with levels of anger before they can identify with deeper emotions of pain, esp fear. Many shrinks & psychological theories shed light in great detail re how sadness and particularly anger are used to cover up fear. In other words, because we cannot bring ourselves to express that which makes us fearful, we are more comfortable with expressing deeper levels of pain through forms of anger.

Single and happy: it's the freemales

I am a firm believer that anyone can have it all, yet the paradox comes into play with defining for yourself what “having it all” subjectively means to you, i.e., not the gender-specific socialized U.S. standard of what it means to have it all.

In 2008 having it all really takes on a new meaning when one takes into consideration the relationship trends that begun in the 1970s (can someone say divorce court overload). These trends are still transforming as I type, hence the below article reflecting the increasing trend of single women in London. And I must note that because the majority of my clients are women, one does not have to be a highly ambitious or career focused woman to desire to be single. The so-called single epidemic seems to cross all class lines. I say “so-called” because I keep reading articles about this “epidemic,” but the majority of people I know are either married, or in genuine loving relationships (and yes these are highly ambitious, educated, career focused women). So is this epidemic just being blown out of proportion because our generation is not running to the altar at the rate that our parents did, or am I just living in a Bay Area bubble of happily committed and equally ambitious individuals?

Either which way, single, married, separated, widowed or divorced, young, old, Black, White, Asian, Latin, Hispanic, Arabic, or Polynesian … a beautifully amazing woman is just that … a beautiful, amazing human being. If you can’t tell yet that self-imposed stigmas are one of my main pet peeves, they’ll be more to come! =)

Single and happy: it's the freemales

Women are increasingly rejecting a desperate, Bridget Jones-like search for a perfect partner, preferring instead to enjoy their single status and refusing to compromise by settling for 'Mr Mediocre'. Caroline Davies reports.

Caroline DaviesSunday April 13, 2008
Observer

They are successful, spirited and single and their growing numbers are contributing to a major change in the make-up of the traditional British household.

'Freemales' - manless women who are happy to remain so for the present at least - are now a force to be reckoned with and are overturning the dated Bridget Jones image of the lonely woman staring despondently at an empty Chardonnay bottle. They are too busy living life to the full to make time for 'Mr Mediocre' and the last thing on their minds is, 'Will I find Mr Right today?' Instead, they are juggling careers with busy social lives and if they happen to bump into him, all well and good, but they are not going hunting.

A new report demonstrates we are now seeing the lowest marriage rates on record and more 'freemales' living alone. Released last week by the Office for National Statistics, it shows that the number of women living alone aged between 25 and 44 - the age when traditionally they would be married and having families - has doubled in the past two decades. The same report states that more than two-thirds of people questioned in a recent survey believed they did not need a partner to enjoy a happy and fulfilled life.

**Read the rest of the article here: http://lifeandhealth.guardian.co.uk/relationships/story/0,,2273313,00.html

Free Enneagram Personality Test

Has anyone ever taken an Ennegram Personality Test? Not only do these tests give good insight into individual personality types, they also help to smooth over and unify dysfunctional family dynamics by serving as a tool used to develop a deeper understanding of the ways in which oneself and others relate to the world and each other.

Based on this test, my highest score (by far) landed in Type 7: “The Enthusiast/Epicure” … my second highest score landed in Type 3: “The Achiever.”
free enneagram test
http://www.enneagram.net/type7.html
free enneagram test
http://www.enneagram.net/type3.html


**A better explanation of the 9 personality types can be found here: http://www.enneagram.net/types.html


The RHETI Sampler is a 36-question, forced-choice questionnaire based on the full, longer Riso-Hudson Enneagram Type Indicator (RHETI). The RHETI Sampler takes about 10 minutes to complete. For your results you will receive a chart with your scores for all nine types, for a full-spectrum profile, as well as short type descriptions. The RHETI Sampler is the first quarter of the full, scientifically validated RHETI.

The Types as Functions

Each of the personality types embodies a wide range of behaviors and attitudes. Each of the types can be seen as a metaphor or symbol of the full range of human potential. Seen this way, the nine personality types of the Enneagram are psychological "functions" or "domains" of an archetypal power or capacity of human nature. One reason we are all similar is that all nine functions operate in each of us. One reason we are all different is that their proportion and balance within our psyches is different and constantly shifting.

50 Things Men Wish You Knew: Universal Guy Truths That All Women Should Understand

I often wonder why women rely on advice from other women when it comes to inquiring about the male species? Since high school (a long, long time ago) female friends of mine have often advised that I must play some type of game to win the affection of my heart’s desire … you know never be available, or always be just beyond the guy’s reach ... basically make a guy work real hard to get me because then (according to some of my friends) I will know that he truly wants to be with me.


Although I felt awkward as a teen I was never into playing games and could only be me. Now as an adult, I still refuse to play games. Games were always seen as a waste of time. All the pretending, concocting ideas to make oneself appear more interesting to the outside world, was just too much and down right self-defeating. I mean why would I desire someone who found that me as I am was not enough? If I wasn’t interesting to someone that I liked then I just figured it wasn’t meant to be. If the guy I liked preferred women who were/are into playing games then there’s a high likelihood that he was into playing games as well … not the type of company I like to keep on any level. And most importantly, I’m a huge believer in the law of attraction: the type of energy you put out into the universe you will surly receive back.


At any rate, the list from Men’s Health is below (coming from MEN) … and of course I smiled when I read #5 …

1. Express yourself. It makes us proud, even if someone thinks you're wrong.

2. You look hot in running shoes and shorts. And that top thingy with the stripes.

3. Bare, tan shoulders are underrated.

4. If you think I’m speeding now, you should see me drive when you're not in the car.

5. If you're truly interested in us, don't play hard to get.

6. Shopping is a chore, not an activity.

7. When I screw up, go ahead and tell me--once.

8. No question need ever be asked through a closed bathroom door if I'm inside. I love you less with each syllable you utter.

9. I'm hot for you, not your sister or your friend or your coworker.

10. My guy friends. Not only are they not negotiable, they’re your best sign that I’m not a whack job.

11. Don't be afraid to ditch the makeup. Natural is sexier.

12. Leave the eyebrows alone. Plucked ain't pretty.

13. You can have sex with us any time you want. Seriously.

14. When the game is on, we will pay attention to you if you're nice about it. Bark, and we shut down.

15. I don't ask for directions because I’m just happy to be driving. Anywhere.

16. Masturbation is merely practice for the big game. Encourage it.

17. We crave hugs and hand-holding too. And no, it doesn't always have to lead to sex.

18. But you can have sex with us any time you want. Did we mention that?

19. There's no better sound in the world than you, having an orgasm.

20. Though the exhaust note of a Porsche Boxster is pretty damn fine, too.

21. I just may lie to make you feel good. Don’t be angry about this. You really weren't looking for the truth anyway.

22. When you get angry over some stupid little pointless thing, I question your intelligence.

23. You’re really bad at faking it.

24. If I offer my help while you're getting ready, it means you’re late.

25. Never ask me to pick out your outfit. (See above.) I will invariably get it wrong and make us even more late.

26. Giving me two or three choices, however, can be fun. Assuming you will change outfits in front of me. Slowly.

27. Err on the side of hot; I love to show you off.

28. Unless we're meeting my parents.

29. When you call us at work "just to chat," we're not really listening; we're checking our e-mail.

30. Spring means baseball and skirts. Doesn't need to be a mini-skirt; it's been a long winter.

31. Chicks who drink beer are hot. Better yet: chicks who drink beer and watch the game. Better still: chicks who buy us a beer during the game.

32. We don't mind being told we look good. Just don't call it a "cute outfit."

33. We love ponytails.

34. Being good in bed means a) enthusiasm; b) a sense of humor; and sometimes c) patience.

35. The first time? We're as nervous as you are.

36. A random unexpected grope is always welcome, even in public. Especially in public.

37. Make us laugh and we'll want to hang around.

38. Yes, I laugh really loud around the guys. And I always will, so deal.

39. Sure, men stereotypically like to solve a woman's problems. But a woman who solves her own while we watch? Instant erection.

40. You can pick the movie, but have a reason.

41. Do not expect to have a conversation via text message unless you use the words "naked" and "waiting."

42. Sometimes we wonder why any woman would want to be with us, much less someone as amazing as you. So, thanks.

43. Anytime you cook for us, we're happy.

44. If you can hit a golf ball 150 yards, we just might fall in love.

45. No, I don't remember what he said next. Or she. Or anybody, for that matter. I'm a guy, not a tape recorder.

46. We love you even more because you know we need to go out with the guys once in a while.

47. And we love it when you hang with us guys, too.

48. We have a keen sense of imminent danger. It sounds like, "Do you think she's pretty?"

49. Don't rely on us for keeping you up on the news.

50. Never say, "I know you better than you know yourself." Nobody does.

http://www.menshealth.com/cda/article.do?site=MensHealth&channel=sex.relationships&category=better.sex&conitem=9fd767233a322110VgnVCM20000012281eac____

*Photo of Alicia by Ray Bilcliff

10 WAYS WOMEN JUDGE YOU

Interesting list of first impression expectations from Men's Health below. Yes, I am a fan of personal hygiene, manners, and firmly believe that chivalry never died. However, it seems a bit premature to assume that one can “figure out” all 10 things below asap. Also, if one is so focused on attempting to “figure out” a list of top 10 details from jump, how does relaxing and just enjoying the moment come into play? Likewise, if you’re human, you’ve probably experienced seeing someone you like for who you wanted them to be, instead of the person they truly were.

First impressions are so hard to read at times. Despite this, there are couples out there who express how they “just knew” that a person was “the one” the first time they saw/met the love of their life. Have you ever been fooled by first impressions? How long did it take for you to discover that the love of your life was truly “the one” for you?

1. Did he dress well for the date? "She's watching to see if you put some energy into your dress and grooming," says Aline Zoldbrod, Ph.D., a sex therapist in Boston. "If you don't take the trouble to dress well for her now, she sees it as disrespectful."

2. Does he have a sense of humor? If you're a total loser, it pays for her to ascertain that on the first date, says Zoldbrod.

3. Is he like my ex? Yes, we always pay for the last guy's sins. What women want is often based on their past negative or positive experiences. So when she talks about past boyfriends, heed well.

4. Is he bitter about past relationships? She needs full use of your closets. There's no room for baggage.

5. Can he talk about himself and listen to me? She'll carry 80 percent of the conversation load. Just make sure your 20 percent is about something.

6. Is he generous? Women somehow see a correlation between leaving a 10 percent tip and having a propensity to drown kittens.

7. Does he make me feel understood and appreciated? If you can't succinctly state her values, her politics, and her ambitions, you're probably failing here. Ask more questions. Listen to the answers this time.

8. Is he open to a relationship but not needy? Ace the other nine criteria here, and your odds of appearing needy will edge toward nil.

9. Does he keep promises? If you're not reliable, you're not viable, especially not for the ultimate goal of all this.

10. Does he have the potential to be a good father?For long-term potential, she considers whether you have the values she wants in a man. How you interact with your own family can be a strong indicator here. If she can't see tykes on your knee, she's wasting her time.

http://www.menshealth.com/cda/custom.do?incFile=mhlist_judge.jsp?site=MensHealth&channel=guy.wisdom&category=howto.guides?cm_mmc=Yahoo_Blog-_-What_Does_a_Guys_Opening_Line_Really_Mean_-_-Article-_-MH_List_10_Ways_Women_Judge_You

*Photo by Ray Bilcliff

Settling ... what does it mean?

I recently read an article (forgot to save the link – sorry) discussing how as women get older we have to accept the fact that we might have to “settle” when it comes to choosing a life partner. As with so many articles on relationships these days, what perplexed me was that the author assumed that her subjective definition of “settling” was the same for every person in the U.S. as it was for her (you know “settling” for a man who makes less money then she hoped, is not as tall, as cute, etc. as she hoped). Yet, unbeknownst to some, there is no perfect package. It also appears that as people get older, they become more aware of who they are and what they really want out of life … I find it hard to believe that a stronger sense of self-actualization (gained via life experience) would cause one to “settle” for a less than fulfilling connection with a partner.

What does settling mean to you? Does settling mean people enter into partnerships despite initially desiring a significant other who had a higher income, was a little taller, just a little thinner or more physically endowed in certain areas of his/her body? Are these really the most pertinent prerequisites that individuals use these days to enter into (what they hope to be) a lasting connected commitment? If so, are you really that shocked that such relationships usually maintain the life warranty of a Safeway Select generic brand battery?