50 Things Men Wish You Knew: Universal Guy Truths That All Women Should Understand

I often wonder why women rely on advice from other women when it comes to inquiring about the male species? Since high school (a long, long time ago) female friends of mine have often advised that I must play some type of game to win the affection of my heart’s desire … you know never be available, or always be just beyond the guy’s reach ... basically make a guy work real hard to get me because then (according to some of my friends) I will know that he truly wants to be with me.


Although I felt awkward as a teen I was never into playing games and could only be me. Now as an adult, I still refuse to play games. Games were always seen as a waste of time. All the pretending, concocting ideas to make oneself appear more interesting to the outside world, was just too much and down right self-defeating. I mean why would I desire someone who found that me as I am was not enough? If I wasn’t interesting to someone that I liked then I just figured it wasn’t meant to be. If the guy I liked preferred women who were/are into playing games then there’s a high likelihood that he was into playing games as well … not the type of company I like to keep on any level. And most importantly, I’m a huge believer in the law of attraction: the type of energy you put out into the universe you will surly receive back.


At any rate, the list from Men’s Health is below (coming from MEN) … and of course I smiled when I read #5 …

1. Express yourself. It makes us proud, even if someone thinks you're wrong.

2. You look hot in running shoes and shorts. And that top thingy with the stripes.

3. Bare, tan shoulders are underrated.

4. If you think I’m speeding now, you should see me drive when you're not in the car.

5. If you're truly interested in us, don't play hard to get.

6. Shopping is a chore, not an activity.

7. When I screw up, go ahead and tell me--once.

8. No question need ever be asked through a closed bathroom door if I'm inside. I love you less with each syllable you utter.

9. I'm hot for you, not your sister or your friend or your coworker.

10. My guy friends. Not only are they not negotiable, they’re your best sign that I’m not a whack job.

11. Don't be afraid to ditch the makeup. Natural is sexier.

12. Leave the eyebrows alone. Plucked ain't pretty.

13. You can have sex with us any time you want. Seriously.

14. When the game is on, we will pay attention to you if you're nice about it. Bark, and we shut down.

15. I don't ask for directions because I’m just happy to be driving. Anywhere.

16. Masturbation is merely practice for the big game. Encourage it.

17. We crave hugs and hand-holding too. And no, it doesn't always have to lead to sex.

18. But you can have sex with us any time you want. Did we mention that?

19. There's no better sound in the world than you, having an orgasm.

20. Though the exhaust note of a Porsche Boxster is pretty damn fine, too.

21. I just may lie to make you feel good. Don’t be angry about this. You really weren't looking for the truth anyway.

22. When you get angry over some stupid little pointless thing, I question your intelligence.

23. You’re really bad at faking it.

24. If I offer my help while you're getting ready, it means you’re late.

25. Never ask me to pick out your outfit. (See above.) I will invariably get it wrong and make us even more late.

26. Giving me two or three choices, however, can be fun. Assuming you will change outfits in front of me. Slowly.

27. Err on the side of hot; I love to show you off.

28. Unless we're meeting my parents.

29. When you call us at work "just to chat," we're not really listening; we're checking our e-mail.

30. Spring means baseball and skirts. Doesn't need to be a mini-skirt; it's been a long winter.

31. Chicks who drink beer are hot. Better yet: chicks who drink beer and watch the game. Better still: chicks who buy us a beer during the game.

32. We don't mind being told we look good. Just don't call it a "cute outfit."

33. We love ponytails.

34. Being good in bed means a) enthusiasm; b) a sense of humor; and sometimes c) patience.

35. The first time? We're as nervous as you are.

36. A random unexpected grope is always welcome, even in public. Especially in public.

37. Make us laugh and we'll want to hang around.

38. Yes, I laugh really loud around the guys. And I always will, so deal.

39. Sure, men stereotypically like to solve a woman's problems. But a woman who solves her own while we watch? Instant erection.

40. You can pick the movie, but have a reason.

41. Do not expect to have a conversation via text message unless you use the words "naked" and "waiting."

42. Sometimes we wonder why any woman would want to be with us, much less someone as amazing as you. So, thanks.

43. Anytime you cook for us, we're happy.

44. If you can hit a golf ball 150 yards, we just might fall in love.

45. No, I don't remember what he said next. Or she. Or anybody, for that matter. I'm a guy, not a tape recorder.

46. We love you even more because you know we need to go out with the guys once in a while.

47. And we love it when you hang with us guys, too.

48. We have a keen sense of imminent danger. It sounds like, "Do you think she's pretty?"

49. Don't rely on us for keeping you up on the news.

50. Never say, "I know you better than you know yourself." Nobody does.

http://www.menshealth.com/cda/article.do?site=MensHealth&channel=sex.relationships&category=better.sex&conitem=9fd767233a322110VgnVCM20000012281eac____

*Photo of Alicia by Ray Bilcliff

10 WAYS WOMEN JUDGE YOU

Interesting list of first impression expectations from Men's Health below. Yes, I am a fan of personal hygiene, manners, and firmly believe that chivalry never died. However, it seems a bit premature to assume that one can “figure out” all 10 things below asap. Also, if one is so focused on attempting to “figure out” a list of top 10 details from jump, how does relaxing and just enjoying the moment come into play? Likewise, if you’re human, you’ve probably experienced seeing someone you like for who you wanted them to be, instead of the person they truly were.

First impressions are so hard to read at times. Despite this, there are couples out there who express how they “just knew” that a person was “the one” the first time they saw/met the love of their life. Have you ever been fooled by first impressions? How long did it take for you to discover that the love of your life was truly “the one” for you?

1. Did he dress well for the date? "She's watching to see if you put some energy into your dress and grooming," says Aline Zoldbrod, Ph.D., a sex therapist in Boston. "If you don't take the trouble to dress well for her now, she sees it as disrespectful."

2. Does he have a sense of humor? If you're a total loser, it pays for her to ascertain that on the first date, says Zoldbrod.

3. Is he like my ex? Yes, we always pay for the last guy's sins. What women want is often based on their past negative or positive experiences. So when she talks about past boyfriends, heed well.

4. Is he bitter about past relationships? She needs full use of your closets. There's no room for baggage.

5. Can he talk about himself and listen to me? She'll carry 80 percent of the conversation load. Just make sure your 20 percent is about something.

6. Is he generous? Women somehow see a correlation between leaving a 10 percent tip and having a propensity to drown kittens.

7. Does he make me feel understood and appreciated? If you can't succinctly state her values, her politics, and her ambitions, you're probably failing here. Ask more questions. Listen to the answers this time.

8. Is he open to a relationship but not needy? Ace the other nine criteria here, and your odds of appearing needy will edge toward nil.

9. Does he keep promises? If you're not reliable, you're not viable, especially not for the ultimate goal of all this.

10. Does he have the potential to be a good father?For long-term potential, she considers whether you have the values she wants in a man. How you interact with your own family can be a strong indicator here. If she can't see tykes on your knee, she's wasting her time.

http://www.menshealth.com/cda/custom.do?incFile=mhlist_judge.jsp?site=MensHealth&channel=guy.wisdom&category=howto.guides?cm_mmc=Yahoo_Blog-_-What_Does_a_Guys_Opening_Line_Really_Mean_-_-Article-_-MH_List_10_Ways_Women_Judge_You

*Photo by Ray Bilcliff

Settling ... what does it mean?

I recently read an article (forgot to save the link – sorry) discussing how as women get older we have to accept the fact that we might have to “settle” when it comes to choosing a life partner. As with so many articles on relationships these days, what perplexed me was that the author assumed that her subjective definition of “settling” was the same for every person in the U.S. as it was for her (you know “settling” for a man who makes less money then she hoped, is not as tall, as cute, etc. as she hoped). Yet, unbeknownst to some, there is no perfect package. It also appears that as people get older, they become more aware of who they are and what they really want out of life … I find it hard to believe that a stronger sense of self-actualization (gained via life experience) would cause one to “settle” for a less than fulfilling connection with a partner.

What does settling mean to you? Does settling mean people enter into partnerships despite initially desiring a significant other who had a higher income, was a little taller, just a little thinner or more physically endowed in certain areas of his/her body? Are these really the most pertinent prerequisites that individuals use these days to enter into (what they hope to be) a lasting connected commitment? If so, are you really that shocked that such relationships usually maintain the life warranty of a Safeway Select generic brand battery?