Congratulations Cali!!! =)

I’m a firm believer that for any country to thrive (economically, socially, psychologically & spiritually) all forms of oppression and racist hatred towards any population segment has to go. I fully understand how such a belief works against the traditional structure of our capitalistic society wherein some population groups are continuously oppressed for a small percentage to continue to thrive, but who says we cannot thrive as a society based on a paradigm of true equality (not the currently existing pseudo form of equality), as this structural model has yet to be attempted?? I say the California ruling on gay marriage is one step in the right direction of equality for all. And if you disagree please don’t justify it by saying it’s because “your” God said so, as this is not truly God speaking, but this is your oppressive, mind-created, judgmental interpretation of how you believe God wants every person on the planet to live. Oh, and please also keep in mind that church and state are legally (supposed to remain) separate … yes our Prez Bush poorly demonstrates this constitutional law, but what else would we expect … for him to suddenly abide by domestic and international laws?!

California Supreme Court overturns gay marriage ban
21 minutes ago

The California Supreme Court has overturned a ban on gay marriage, paving the way for California to become the second state where gay and lesbian residents can marry.

The case involved a series of lawsuits seeking to overturn a voter-approved law that defines marriage as a union between a man and a woman.

With the ruling, California could become the second state after Massachusetts where gay and lesbian residents can marry.

"What happens in California, either way, will have a huge impact around the nation. It will set the tone," said Geoffrey Kors, executive director of the gay rights group Equality California.

California already offers same-sex couples who register as domestic partners the same legal rights and responsibilities as married spouses, including the right to divorce and to sue for child support. It's therefore unclear what additional relief state lawmakers could offer short of marriage if the court renders the existing ban unconstitutional.

A coalition of religious and social conservative groups is attempting to put a measure on the November ballot that would enshrine California's current laws banning gay marriage in the state constitution.

The Secretary of State is expected to rule by the end of June whether the sponsors gathered enough signature to qualify the marriage amendment, similar to ones enacted in 26 other states.
The cases before the California court were brought by the city of San Francisco, two dozen gay and lesbian couples, Equality California and another gay rights group in March 2004 after the court halted San Francisco's monthlong same-sex wedding march that took place at Mayor Gavin Newsom's direction.

Copyright © 2008 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. The information contained in the AP News report may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed without the prior written authority of The Associated Press.

Copyright © 2008 Yahoo! Inc. All rights reserved.

What Makes a Man Marry?

Does the below article seem on point or far-fetched?

Since more and more women (regardless of what tax bracket we are in) are learning to become independent, due to our society’s continuous movement towards gender equality, I did like the point the author made under idea #2 about the benefits of men and women viewing each other as equals when entering into relationships. I also like the point the author made in idea #3 about men actually being turned on by ambitious, hard working women. There is an urban legend running amonk within our generation that women who are “too successful” will always make men feel threatened. This has always been overgeneralized nonsense to me. But for those who hold on to such thoughts as their own personal truth, I can see how these thoughts can easily manifest into how one experiences life and relationships.

Anytime our thoughts contain such phrases as “always,” “never,” “all the time,” etc., these are what cognitive therapists relate to as maladaptive automatic thoughts. And thoughts are indeed very powerful, as you can literally use your thoughts to determine how you choose to experience any present situation. Sadly, a lot of our automatic thoughts are mistaken for personal truths or facts, so we develop a pattern of focusing on that which supports our personal truths in life, ignoring all potential experiences that can contradict such personal truths.

By D. Zinczenko

January 15, 2008

http://health.yahoo.com/experts/menlovesex/78433/what-makes-a-man-marry/

I have a friend who spent two weeks in Europe with his girlfriend, and some of it didn't go too well. He didn't like the haircut she got pre-trip.

She didn't like the way his eye wandered on the streets of Paris. They fought some. So when my friend got back home, he asked a wise friend (no, certainly not me) what he should do.
Here's the advice he got: Every relationship is going to come up against some obstacles. They'll either break it up, or make it stronger. If it ends, it wasn't meant to be. If you push through, the relationship will be better than ever.

That's stuck with me for a long time, in part because my friend is now 21 years into marriage with that one-time girlfriend. So I'm just guessing that their relationship grew stronger when they faced obstacles. What made the difference for my friend, and for guys in general, when they face that step-up or break-up moment? Here are some ideas....

Marriage Maker 1: (In)dependence

Guys like all the things that can come with marriage - the companionship, the safety, a guarantee of having good sheets on the bed and good reasons to change them. But one of the things they fear the most: that they're going to feel more constricted than David Blaine in an ice block.

While most men understand that being married doesn't mean that they can play six nights a week like they did in their bachelor days, they also want to feel like they have the blessing, support, and encouragement to play golf with their pals every once in a while, to knock a few back at the sports bar when the big game is on, to still feel free even when they've willingly surrendered some independence.

Marriage Maker 2: Adoring, Yet Not Needy

Few things turn a guy on as much as a woman who makes her man feel like he's the only guy for her. And few things turn off a guy as much as a woman who makes her man feel like he's the only guy for her.

Right, both statements are the same, but hugely different. It all has to do with where the woman and man are coming from. If they're equals, they're not making undue claims on each other, and they can be an even stronger pair. If either one of them is weak and needy, however, that emotional burden can drag both partners down. So, throw your partner some compliments and some assurances, but don't tell him the planets spin around him.

He knows they don't, and will question your sanity if you say they do. Especially at the start of a relationship, it won't hurt for him to know that you're perfectly OK without him, thank you very much, but that it's more fun when you're together. A light touch early can produce strong bonds later.

Marriage Maker 3: An Imaginative Mind

There's a lot of press these days about men who worry about dating successful women, that they feel their masculinity is threatened if their women make more money or have more power. To that I say baloney (low-fat).

Men are very turned on by women who have big goals, big dreams, and big imaginations - whether they're career-oriented or not. Because when a woman is driven, that means that she's moving forward, and the whole family is, too.

Marriage Maker 4: Jekyll and Hyde

Not that we want our partners to flip-flop and pretend to be people they're not, but there's something intrinsically exciting about a partner who has the ability to be a sort of chameleon - a little fun and imaginative in bed, yet charming at a family reunion.

It's the all-in-one woman who can equally pull off the roles of wife, mother, boss, friend, neighbor, vixen. That's not asking too much, is it? After all, if a guy is going to commit for a lifetime, he'll want his partner to be able to react to a lifetime's worth of challenges and opportunities, right?