WHO'S ON TOP?

By Martha Beck

Who's smarter, prettier, richer? Who's got a better backhand, a flatter stomach, a faster-track job? If you can't stop comparing yourself to others, you've got a case of what Asian philosophers call monkey mind, and, honey, it will only drive you bananas. Martha Beck directs you to a more evolved, happier plane.

Marie is doing Alice's hair when along comes Tanya, a mutual acquaintance. Tanya has the perfect life: great body, well-behaved children, primo social status. Watching her walk by, Alice admires her beauty, then relaxes into the pleasant sensation of Marie's hands arranging her hair. Marie, by contrast, nearly explodes with jealousy and competitiveness. Her teeth and stomach clench as she watches Tanya flaunt her long limbs, thick hair, and—most enviable of all—her hugely swollen, rose-red rump. Tanya, Marie, and Alice are baboons, social primates who share around 95 percent of our DNA and a lot of our psychological traits. Scientists have found that some baboons (like Marie) are extremely competitive, others (like Alice) more mellow, less worried about measuring up. The more rank-conscious baboons suffer higher blood pressure—a stress-related condition we associate with driven, competitive humans.

No wonder some Asian philosophies refer to rank-obsessed human thinking as "monkey mind" and "comparing mind"—what I call "crazy mind." Constantly measuring ourselves against others sours and shortens our lives, robbing us of the very things we think it will bring: prosperity, love, inner peace, the knowledge that we're good enough. We have advantages baboons do not, though. We can notice when we've stumbled into monkey mind, and we can think our way out.

Why "Comparing Mind" Is Insane

Comparing and contrasting is a valuable human skill—and not just during high school English exams. Our ability to rank-order things is invaluable in making choices and setting priorities. But problems arise when comparing mind is the only mode of perception we access. Every gathering, conversation, or friendship becomes a stressful contest: Will I "win" in this situation, or will someone else turn out to be prettier, smarter, richer, thinner…in a word, better?

This way of thinking is absurd, because outside the realm of human perception, the concept of better is meaningless. Here's a challenge for you: Go outside and find the best possible stick. Why aren't you going? Perhaps because the request is ridiculous. What do I mean by "the best possible stick"? For doing what? Digging? Toasting marshmallows? Poking a weasel? A stick that's ideal for one purpose might be useless for another.

This makes comparing mind a setup for failure. Even if you can be the world's best at one thing, you'll be the world's worst at something else. Supermodels make pathetic sumo wrestlers. A brilliant orator who speaks only one language sounds like a babbling fool in another. If you spent your life mastering all languages, you might still suck at engineering, croquet, watercolor, etc. Since comparing mind hates being less than best at anything, you lose. Always. The relentless search for victory, security, love, and self-esteem invariably ends in failure, insecurity, enmity, and self-hatred.

Slowly Going Bananas

It seems that no matter where you are on the planet, the competitive madness was bred into your cells and reinforced in countless social interactions. But you can learn to watch for monkey mind to appear, to notice when it starts tainting your life. Like a virus, it generally sneaks up on you unseen; what you'll observe are its symptoms. Here are some telltale diagnostics:

You get irritable or depressed when someone else succeeds.

You don't feel loved or loving.

Meeting a successful person, you feel anxious rather than honored.

It seems to you that a victorious end justifies morally dubious means.

You actively hope for others to do badly or to fail.

You don't know what you like until you know what others think.

You're dogged by shame; you never feel good enough.

Winning creates a brief happy moment, which quickly gives way to anxiety.

Losing devastates you to the point of despair.

You criticize everyone and believe everyone is criticizing you.

THE SECRETS YOU'RE NOT TELLING YOURSELF

I think the below message is highly relevant. Perhaps it’s because of the amount of time I focus on researching how repression subjectively functions, and in turn the self-defeating behavior patterns it creates. Counterattacking (i.e., externalizing), Escaping & Surrendering (different styles of incongruently coping) are no substitute …

By Martha Beck

You may not want to get in touch with your messiest feelings—sadness, rage, resentment—but one way or another, they're going to get in touch with you. Martha Beck shows you how to defuse and deal.

"Of course I'm out of my mind," said one of my daughter's friends the other day. "It's dark and scary in there!"

I wish all of us were so honest. Freud's great contribution was the recognition that consciousness holds only a small fraction of the things we know and feel. Beneath this tidy space lie the subconscious and unconscious levels of thought—cavern systems containing hidden labyrinths and spooky creatures. It's a place most of us avoid, pushing away dark thoughts in a process known as repression.

The problem is that, as therapists like to say, "What we resist persists." The further we withdraw from difficult issues, the more likely they are to spill out. The only way to keep this from happening is to go spelunking in our own forbidden, forbidding depths.

The Things We Almost Know

Repression sometimes occurs involuntarily—for instance, when soldiers in battle experience so much pain and fear that they psychologically dissociate and later have a flat, emotionless memory (or no memory at all) of the event. Most repression, however, involves an element of choice. This is not the kind of explicit decision-making we use to solve intellectual problems but the conditioned avoidance of psychological pain.

This can be exhausting, because the mind doesn't like hiding things from itself. We often deal with this by keeping our attention riveted on other things: eating, shopping, work, television, alcohol—anything but quiet relaxation. The best long run result we can hope for is chronic stress; the worst, flat-out breakdown. To figure out whether you may benefit from mental cave diving, take this quiz.

The antidote to repression is expression. Here's a five-step process to help your conscious mind tunnel through the walls of denial: http://www.oprah.com/spiritself/omag/ss_omag_200503_mbeck_b.jhtml

(MY) "WHAT ARE YOU HIDING?" QUIZ RESULTS ...

You aren't repressing much. You can generally trust yourself to maintain an even keel and a healthy emotional life. You're a good judge of people, but you tend to be a bit gullible and naive. It might help to remember not everyone is as open and straightforward as you are.

The Four Agreements

Love the 4 points by D. M. Ruiz below, especially the “Don’t Take Anything Personally” rule!! Personalization is a huge maladaptive thought pattern that is all too common. If one never becomes aware of socialized habits of personalization, not only when and what others are projecting onto us, but also our own patterns of projecting our subjective repressed emotions onto everyone we interact with, I strongly believe that self-liberation can never be reached. Additionally, even if you’re not that into observing energy fields, just imagine the type of energy you permit out into your environment, and what you attract back when functioning from a stance of personalization, unaware projections and repressed emotions. No fun to say the least … and if you’re a big externalizer, I can just imagine how exhausting many interactions must become for you!

Yet, talk about self-liberation … as soon as one realizes just how irrelevant the opinions and mind-chatter of others are, so much needless worry & assumptions can be let go of, and your energy can be better spent focused elsewhere on manifesting something so much more fruitful and prosperous!! As I’ve been saying since 2008 began (and just in time since it’s a political year) people truly are worth so much more than just their opinions. Think about it … is the core essence of who individuals are defined by their thoughts (which are always subject to change based on life exps/exposure), or are you capable of seeing others (in addition to yourself) separate from their opinions/thoughts? Are you able to see within yourself and others all the various unique components that make up who you/they are in your/their totality?

The Four Agreements
by Don Miguel Ruiz

According to Don Miguel Ruiz, everything we do is based on agreements we have made—agreements with ourselves, with other people, with God, with life. But the most important agreements are the ones we make with ourselves. In these agreements we tell ourselves who we are, how to behave, what is possible, what is impossible. One single agreement is not such a problem, but we have many agreements that come from fear, deplete our energy, and diminish our self-worth.

In The Four Agreements, Don Miguel reveals the source of self-limiting agreements that rob us of joy and create needless suffering. When we are ready to change these agreements, there are four deceptively simple, yet powerful agreements that we can adopt as guiding principles. Based on ancient Toltec wisdom, The Four Agreements offer a powerful code of conduct that can rapidly transform our lives to a new experience of freedom, true happiness, and love.

The Four Agreements are:

BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORD.Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the of truth and love.

**Note for all you gossip lovers out there: Gossip is a way of avoiding confrontation and a great example of how we break our integrity with ourselves. If gossiping about others makes you feel powerful, perhaps you should look at why you feel powerless. When you gossip and feel badly about yourself afterwards, you're betraying yourself.

DON'T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY.Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.

DON'T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS.Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST.Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are tired as opposed to well-rested. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.The Four Agreements sound simple, even simplistic. But try keeping just one for an entire day!

Source:

http://www.oprah.com/tows/booksseen/tows_book_20000925_dmruiz.jhtml

LT #2: Abandonment

According to Young & Klosko (1994), those who have Abandonment as their central LT subconsciously believe that they will lose the people they love and be left emotionally isolated forever. Somehow the feeling that you will be left alone, by people dying, leaving you, moving away, etc., never leaves you … you expect to be abandon.

This LT gives you a sense of despair about love. You believe that no matter how good things get, your relationships are destined for a doomed ending. It is also difficult for you to believe that that people will be there for you, and that they are still there for you in some way when they are physically absent (Young & Klosko, 1994).

“Most people are not upset by short separations from their loved ones. They know the relationship will survive the separation intact. But with the Abandonment LT there is no such security … You want to cling to people too much, and you become inappropriately angry of frightened at the possibility of any separation, no matter how slight. Particularly in romantic relationships, you feel emotionally dependant on the other person, and you fear the loss of that intimate connection” (Young & Klosko, 1994, p. 62).

The roots of this LT begin very early in life before an infant learns how to speak, and involve either a connection that once existed, but then was lost, or a parent connection that unpredictably fluctuated between being emotionally present and absent. Please note that just because a parent is physically present does not mean that they are emotionally present and able to connect … you may have had a stable maternal figure, but she may have been instable in the way she related to you. Everything with this LT is dependant upon the degree of connection v. disconnection that was experienced. Because this LT began so early, it has a tremendous emotional force. A person with severe Abandonment responds to even a brief separation with the feelings of a small child who has been abandoned (Young & Klosko, 1994).

Early childhood environments that were either too secure and overprotected, (creating the belief that one cannot survive alone), or emotionally unstable (creating the belief that instability and loss are always certain) create this LT. When it comes to emotional instability, a child who experiences an emotional intimate connection that is then lost grows up not being able to bear being apart from the people he/she loves because of the way he/she feels without them. It becomes a matter of feeling like you are connected or disconnected to the rest of humanity. When any close connection is lost you are thrown into nothingness (Young & Klosko, 1994).

Loss of a parent at an early age (separation via death, divorce, adoption, illness, etc.) is the most dramatic origin of this LT, particularly during the first year of an infant’s life. Generally the earlier the loss, the more vulnerable the child and the more potent the LT is going to be. How deeply the loss will affect you throughout your life depends on the quality of your intimate connections created with others. For example, if you are able to establish a connection with a substitute parent, such as a stepparent that can help.

Origins of the Abandonment LT (Young & Klosko, 1994, p. 68):

1. You may have a biological predisposition to separation anxiety – difficulty being alone.

2. A parent died or left home when you were young.

3. Your biological mother was hospitalized or separated from you for a prolonged period when you were a child.

4. You were raised by nannies or in an institution by a succession of mother figures, or you were sent away to boarding school at a very young age.

5. Your mother was unstable. She became angry, drunk, depressed, or in some way withdrew from you on a regular basis.

6. Your parents divorced when you were young or fought so much that you worried the family would fall apart.

7. You lost the attention of a parent in a significant way, ex: your parent remarried or younger siblings were born.

8. Your family was excessively close and you were overprotected. You never learned to deal with life difficulties as a child.

Once this LT is triggered, the common cycle of negative emotions are fear, grief, and then anger. Usually you need other people around you to feel soothed. However, some w/this LT can also be alone for long periods of time due to a desire to withdraw from close relationships out of hurt and fear of being hurt again. Those who withdraw do so based on already facing a certain level of loneliness as a child, learning from that experience that they can survive. Being withdrawn is not the issue … the process of loss is what is devastating. Pain stems from having a connection, then losing it and being thrown back into loneliness one more time. As children, these withdrawn types who suffer from Abandonment, responded to the loss of a connection by becoming more autonomous. Since no one took care of them, they learned how to take care of themselves (Young & Klosko, 1994).

As with all LTs, Abandonment is triggered mostly through intimate relationships. It may not be apparent in groups or casual relationships, but separations from intimate loved ones are the most powerful triggers. The separation does not even have to be real … thoughts, or reading the intent of others (sometimes falsely) to separate is enough to trigger this LT. Anything that feels disconnected can trigger this LT. The feeling of being abandon is so easily triggered because feeling emotionally abandonment is always with you (Young & Klosko, 1994).

Overall those with this LT seldom experience romantic relationships that are calm and steady. Often they experience roller coaster rides, feeling that a relationship is on the brink of catastrophe … constant anxiety over the possibility that the connection to the loved one could be lost. Relationships always feel unstable, and the sense that you might lose the person you love is always there. Jealousy and possessiveness are also common themes. Becoming excessively clingy early in the relationship is common. Clinging reinforces this LT because it reinforces the idea that you are going to lose the person. It keeps the possibility of abandonment alive in the relationship. Some people cope with this LT by avoiding intimate relationships altogether(Young & Klosko, 1994).

People with this LT are most likely drawn to lovers who hold some potential for abandoning them, allowing you to create your own self-fulfilling prophecy and constantly re-experience the trauma that this LT caused you as a child. Some warning signs that you relationship is triggered by your Abandonment LT are as follows (Young & Klosko, 1994, p. 73):

1. You chose a partner who is unlikely to make a long-term commitment because he/she is married or involved in another relationship.

2. Your partner is not consistently available for you to spend time together (e.g., he/she travels a lot, lives far away, is a workaholic, etc.).

3. Your partner is emotionally unstable.

4. Your partner insists on his/her freedom to come and go, does not want to settle down, or wants the freedom to have as many lovers as he/she wishes.

5. Your partner is ambivalent about you – he/she wants you, but holds back emotionally; or one moment acts deeply in love w/you and the next moment acts as though you do not exist.

You have a pattern of being attracted to partners who present some hope for stability, but not complete hope – who present a mixture of hope and doubt. You get a rush from the possibility that you might win the person permanently, or at least get the person to relate to you in a more stable fashion. Living in an unstable love relationship feels comfortable and familiar to you because it is what you have always known. This instability keeps activating your LT, generating a steady flow of “chemistry.” This is what you define as being/staying passionately in love. Choosing partners who are not really there for you ensures that you will continue to reenact your childhood abandonment (Young & Klosko, 1994).

How your Abandonment LT plays out in a relationship (Young & Klosko, 1994, p. 74):

1. You avoid intimate relationships even w/appropriate partners because you are afraid of losing the person or getting too close and being hurt.

2. You worry excessively about the possibility that your partner will die or otherwise be lost, and what you would do.

3. You overact to minor things your partner says or does, and interpret them as signs that he/she wants to leave you.

4. You are excessively jealous and possessive.

5. You cling to your partner. Your whole life becomes obsessed with keeping him/her.

6. You cannot stand to be away from your partner, even for a few days.

7. You are never fully convinced that your partner will stay with you.

8. You get angry and accuse your partner of not being loyal or faithful.

9. You sometimes detach, leave or withdraw to punish your partner for leaving you alone.

Also, it is possible that you are in a healthy, stable relationship, but still continue to feel that the relationship is unstable. Because of this, a common pattern is often found of pushing the people you love away with one hand, while clinging to them with the other (Young & Klosko, 1994).

People with this LT usually do not feel good when they are alone – possibly becoming anxious, detached or depressed. Detachment in particular is the way in which one copes with this LT by counterattacking. When you are detached you are denying the need for a connection. There is usually some anger mixed in with your detachment and it is partly punitive. You punish your partner for withdrawing from you, for not giving you what you need. This may help you temporarily cope, but you pay a steep price by giving up your feelings to exist as a chilly emotional numbness (Young & Klosko, 1994).

A real loss, such as the breakup of a relationship is completely devastating to you. It confirms your sense that no matter where you turn you will never find a stable connection. You also have an underlying view of friendships as unstable. You believe that you cannot really count on them to last. People come and go in your life.

Young & Klosko (1994) list 6 ways you can change your Abandonment LT (p. 77):

1. Understand the root cause of your childhood abandonment.

2. Monitor your feelings of abandonment. Identify your hypersensitivity to losing close people; your desperate fears of being alone; your need to cling to people.

3. Review past relationships and clarify the patterns that recur.

4. Avoid uncommitted, unstable, or ambivalent partners even though they generate high chemistry. When you find a partner who is stable and committed, trust him/her. Believe that he/she is there for you and will not leave you.

5. Do not cling, become jealous or overreact to the normal separations of a healthy relationship.

*Note: “After so much experience w/abandonment, it is hard to learn to trust. But this is the only way to finally step out of the cycle and find fulfillment in love. Get off the roller coaster. Give up the wild, unstable love in favor of the strong and steady” (Young & Klosko, 1994, p. 81).

*Photo by Ray BiCliff

Love Quotes: Manifesting and Finding True Love

Because I’m a true believer that the majority of things we aimlessly search for in life externally have internally been within us all along, I thought the below article was interesting …

Published by Joann under Love

Love. Now there is the word that have baffled men and women throughout the centuries. And I doubt if anybody can fathom love’s mystery in the near future. Just a 4-letter word that nobody can explain or find its truest form.

Anybody who falls in love risks getting hurt. Love can cause extreme pain and misery. It can alter the course of one’s life. But why are we still hoping to find love? Because happiness beyond measure is love’s promise to those who can find it in its truest form. Those who haven’t fallen in love have daydreamed endlessly of a true love. And even the ones who have been hurt are still hoping to find it.

Filling yourself with love first is the key to manifesting and finding true love. Like energy attracts the same. That is the law. Manifesting and finding true love does not start anywhere else but within you.

The following are love quotes from famous people about manifesting and finding love. These love quotes are not arranged in any order, but I have a reason for placing the Buddha love quote first — it is the most basic and the most important.

You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection. –Buddha

The minute I heard my first love story,I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was.Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere.They’re in each other all along.–Maulana Jalalu’ddin Rumi

Therefore, if you desire love, try to realize that the only way to get Love is by giving love. That the more you give, the more you get.–Stranger By The River

Those that go searching for love, only manifest their own lovelessness. And the loveless never find love, only the loving find love. And they never have to seek for it.–H. Lawrence

To be loved, be lovable.–Ovid

If I am not worth the wooing, I am surely not worth the winning.–Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love.–Tom Robbins

He who wants to do good knocks at the gate: he who loves finds the door open.–Rabrindranath Tagore

There is no remedy for love but to love more.–Henry David Thoreau

Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all of the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.–A Course in MiraclesArticle

Source:

Joann

Attracting The Love Of Your Life Part 1

Published by Other Authors under Life, Love
Article Source: Manifesting Life Magick

If you’re like every other person out there, the biggest thing you want in your life is someone to love you, and for you to give your love to in return. Some of you may even want the person of your dreams instead of the person you have now. There is nothing wrong with that. So if the love of a lifetime is what everyone truly wants, why is it that so few people find it? Well, there are a couple of reasons.

Below is a list of reasons why most people never realize the love of their life.

1. They don’t love themselves. I know that so many people say this, yet I am amazed at how few really understand what it means. It really is fairly simple. It means learning to be ok with the person you are right now, in this very moment. Learning to be proud of who you have become. Learning to appreciate yourself, as you are, perfectly, in this moment. Knowing you have flaws and being ok with that. Knowing you have things to work on, and being ok with that also. If you don’t learn to appreciate your own unique beauty and self, how can you ever expect someone else to appreciate those things.

2. Most people have no idea what their perfect mate is like. How can you ever expect to attract the love of your life if you are unable to see what that is in your head. If you have no idea, or a very vague idea of what the love of a lifetime means for you, you can’t possibly find it. It would be the same as someone telling you to find the town of Danville. Where would you even begin if you had no access to a map and had to find it just by driving. You don’t even have a state to start with. Is that Danville Pennsylania, or Danville Virginia? Love is no different. You must have a good grasp on what the love of your life would be like.

3. So many people cling to the first person who shows any sign of liking them. I am amazed at how so many people will not buy the first car they see, or the first house they look at. Yet the very same people will grab ahold of the first person who shows them a little attention as though that one person were the last person on earth. There are over 6 billion people on this planet for God’s sake. Don’t settle for someone until they prove to you that they are the person you are looking for.

4. Many people are afraid to go out and meet new people. They are afraid to approach new people and make new friends. Especially if that new person is someone they find attractive and would like to get to know. Most people simply sit and wish for what they want. There must always be action to get to where you want to go. You can’t simply imagine yourself in some gorgeous vacation spot, wiggle your nose, and instantly teleport there. You must buy tickets, show up for the scheduled departure time of your plane, get on the plane, and go to where that spot is. If you want to meet someone, you must get out and get to know people. This really goes back to number 1. Because most people do not love themselves, they are terrified of the rejection. But I am not a dating coach, and how to work on that area of yourself is subject for another article.

5. You must take the time to imagine the love of your life. Feel the feelings of being in love. Imagine the things you would do if you were in love right now. How you would treat that other person. What their hair or perfume or cologne would smell like. Feel them in your arms as you hug them and hold them. Hear their words fall from their lips. Even if you don’t know exactly what the person of your dreams looks like, you can imagine what someone you would be attracted to would look like. Don’t get caught up on one specific person. Be open and willing to receive the type of person who would help you feel wealthy in the arena of love and relationships.

6. Open yourself up to receive love. So many people want specific things, and being specific about what you want is important, however, do not be specific about how you acquire that thing. Allow the universe to do it’s magic. If you imagine the person of your dreams coming to you in a very specific way, like through a job or a hobby, you are limiting the universe to only those specific areas. The universe is much greater and more vast than we can imagine. Allow it to use it’s resources to bring you what it is you want.

7. The moment that the universe offers an opportunity, take it. The second you feel an impulse or a feeling to do something or move in a specific direction, or the moment something happens that seems like a “coincidence,” move. Take action. Do not hesitate. Do not delay. Don’t even blink. Take action and take action immediately. That is your sign from the universe that the opportunity has come. Take it, and move forward.

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Dwayne Gilbert is the founder of www.wealthylifesecrets.com and has been helping people in the area of self-protection and personal development for 10 years. He has authored some of his own books and currently teaches people self-defense andpersonal development strategies and tactics. To get more information on the law of attraction and how to apply it, visit www.wealthylifesecrets.com.

Longer Lives Through Relationships

by Dr. Galen Buckwalter

You’ve gotten pretty good at going to the gym—you also keep the diet reasonable and quit smoking years ago. And you worry about the diseases that have shown up in your family, particularly if there is heart disease or cancer. Or you feel pretty good if your ancestry is filled with people who have lived to 90 years old or beyond. And then of course there is the proverbial bus that we need to dodge each day. All of the exercise and good genes in the world won't stop the laws of physics should we violate them. So you wear your seat belts when driving and a helmet when riding a bike to provide as much protection as possible against simple bad luck. But here is a whole new area of information for you to consider when it comes to living healthy and living long. First, we want you to answer these two questions:

1. How many friends/relatives do you have who you could ask for help were you to need it? ____
2. How happy are you with the amount of emotional support your friends and relatives give to you? Not at all ___ Somewhat ___ Extremely ___

Before you think we have switched topics on you midstream consider these facts. People who have larger and more satisfying social networks live longer, they get Alzheimer's disease less, they can handle stress more effectively, and they are less prone to such disorders of aging as hypertension and diabetes. Further, if you are a married man or woman you are likely to live longer than similar people who are unmarried. Numerous mechanisms have been suggested as the reason why social ties improve health and longevity. The most credible reasons are linked to the findings that relationships improve our ability to handle stress. Non-supportive social interactions actually lower our immune function and cause an increase in glucocorticoids, the stress hormones produced by the brain. Cardiovascular activity also is increased by negative social engagements. And you thought it was all in your head when you felt terrible after meeting with a hypercritical relative or even with a boss who is much better at identifying faults than strengths.

The truth is that such interactions do bad things to your body—both on the short- and long-term. However, supportive social interactions result in the exact opposite effects on your body. Such interactions leave your body tuned to handle whatever may come your way. These findings may well fall into the category an old professor of mine would call the "blooming obvious." Of course we know we feel better after we spend time with friends, when we take the time to develop friendships, when our friends and family go out of their way to support us, and when the people who are most important to us allow us into their lives. It’s all nature's way. But how many of us really take the time to develop friendships and to nurture the friendships we have? Our point to you is that if there ever was a time to start making a concerted effort to develop more friendships and to have fun with those friends, now is the time.

Many of you may be wondering how many friends you need to have. The short answer appears to be the more the better. It certainly is the case that supportive relationships are better for your health than conflicted relationships. So no matter how many friends you have, or how positive you feel about your friends and family, pull out your calendar right now and schedule at least one more time to be with friends or family for each of the next four weeks. And if you are one of those persons who has gotten into a lifestyle where it is work, work, work; where life is spent on the freeway or at your office; where you can’t really remember the last time you took some time to just be with a friend or a loved one, take this as a life-changing opportunity.

If you have less than two friends and if you are not more than Somewhat Happy with your closest relationships, know that you have just identified an area of your life that you can change that will significantly improve your health and your longevity. There’s no need to count on luck, or even on your genes. For you we suggest you schedule an event each week for the next eight weeks. Develop and nurture your relationships and enjoy the benefits of a healthier and longer life.

A Secret Of Law Of Attraction

Published by Other Authors under Law of Attraction

Article Source: Manifesting Life Magick

If there is a secret of law of attraction, it is that the non physical language of the universe is one of vibration, we are all radiating that which we are, we are all giving and receiving vibrational signals on many different levels. All of our experiences are vibrating at different frequencies and drawing towards them there matching equivalent. What you are seeking to be or do in this life has a vibrational pattern to match and is seeking you – ‘that which is liken to itself is drawn.’

You are a magnet, drawing to you the things you are thinking and feeling. Everything around you has been thought into being by you, your relationships, the food you eat, the house you live in and your place and circumstance in life. You are always attracting into your life who and what you are consistently focusing on. Everything you have ever dreamt, whether spoken or unspoken has been transmitted by you on one level or another. Your consistent thoughts and feelings about any particular subject are being brought into your experience whether you intend them or not.

Use three pointers as a guide when starting to understand more about the secret of law of attraction.

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Commit Your Attention To Your IntentionThe secret of the law of attraction or law of vibration is to take your attention from ‘what is’ to what it is you really want. Intend what it is you want to happen in your life, take your attention from ‘what is’ and commit your attention to your intention. You don’t need to figure out how to get it at this point, that is the job of the universe, your job is to just think about what it is you want, start matching your vibration to your desires.

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The universe does not think about or stand in judgement of what you want, the universe accepts willingly without hesitation, good or bad, right or wrong. The universe doesn’t hang around either, it goes to work immediately, putting your requests into action.

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Your Vibration Equals Your AttractionYou are a vibrational transmitter, broadcasting to the world on all channels loud and clear. The whole universe is tuning into your show every moment of the day. The life you want has a vibrational pattern, start to feel the vibrational pattern that matches your desire and hold your attention on it anyway you know how, the vibrations will seek each other, it is the law of the universe.

Raising Your VibrationStart by asking yourself – ‘What makes you feel good?’ From this place you can start to raise your vibration and act immediately one step at a time. You can perform an activity that you thoroughly enjoy and from that feeling you can move to the next feeling and so on and so forth. This will help lead you to what you really want in small manageable steps rather than one huge leap of uncertainty.

Be happy with your life in this moment. Being happy now will raise your vibrational output, the better you feel, the higher the vibration, the more you will allow or attract into your life.

Make no mistake, your success requires the utmost commitment and focus to achieve the outcomes you desire, making a committed decision to your clear vision will cause you to move forward and act with confidence in everything that you do. If you start to believe you can affect reality in a consistent way by raising your vibrational level, with the law of attraction at work, you will. Your reality never sleeps, it is happening all the time, creation is occurring whether you intend it or not, so paying attention to your thinking is of paramount importance.

And remember, wherever your attention goes, your vibration goes.

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Steve Bishop. A manuscript has been amazing a small group of people that received access to the

secret of law of attraction. Many of its readers have remarked - “I wish I knew half of what he knows.” For a very limited time, you can reserve your copy.

*Photo by Ray BiCliff

LT #1: EMOTIONAL DEPRIVATION

This is Part 1 of a series of 11 Life Traps (LTs) explained by psychologists J.E. Young & J. S. Klosko (1994) in their co-authored book Reinventing Your Life. Klosko & Young discuss in detail how each of the 11 LTs are created during childhood, and then re-created over and over again throughout our adult lives. Each LT cycle is triggered the most within our intimate relationships. Also explained is how one can go about breaking each dysfunctional LT cycle. This in turn can enable people to experience more fulfilling relationships with themselves as well as others.

According to Young & Klosko (1994) emotional deprivation is the most common LT, yet it is the hardest to detect. Because this LT begins so early on, (before we knew how to talk), it is hard to realize when we are caught up in this cycle. At the core of false beliefs stemming from this LT, is the deep fixed belief that our needs for love will never be met. We believe that we are going to be lonely forever, never understood or heard, and that certain things will never be fulfilled for us. We always feel like something is missing, and a feeling of emptiness never leaves us.

“The image that most captures this meaning is that of a neglected child. Emotional deprivation is what the neglected child feels. It is a feeling of aloneness, of nobody there. It is a sad and heavy sense of knowledge that you are destined to be alone” (p. 113).

As an adult, feelings of detachment are very common. If you feel that you are not close to anyone (family members or friends), this may be your core LT. Other features of this LT include more often than not feeling like: you need more love than you get; that no one really understands you; you have a pattern of often being attracted to cold partners who can’t meet your needs; you are disconnected, even from people who are close to you; you have a hard time letting people guide, protect, and/or love you even though you desire such things.

Within relationships there can be a tendency for people with this LT to be demanding b/c no matter how much people give, it never seems like it’s enough. Yet, those who are emotionally deprived usually have no problem giving nurturance to others, as it is a way they compensate for their own feelings of unmet emotional needs. This pattern leaves emotionally deprived people chronically disappointed in others. There is an extended pattern of being let down by others. “If your conclusion as a result of all your relationships is that you cannot count on people to be there for you emotionally – that is a sign that you have this [LT]” (p. 114).

ORIGINS

“The origins of emotional deprivation lie in the person who serves as the maternal figure for the child – the person who is chiefly responsible for giving the child emotional nurturance. That first relationship becomes the prototype for those that follow” (p.114).

Origins of Emotional Deprivation

1. The mother is cold and unaffectionate.
2. The child does not have a sense of being loved and valued.
3. The mother does not give her child enough time and attention.
4. The mother is not really tuned into the child’s needs, has difficulty empathizing with the child’s world, and is not really connecting with her child.
5. The mother does not soothe the child, and in turn the child may not learn how to soothe him/herself, or to accept soothing from others.
6. The parents do not adequately guide the child or provide a sense of direction. There is no one solid for the child to rely upon.

Unless one experiences extreme neglect, this LT can be hard to recognize b/c it is created by that which is missing, that which is something the child never knew. For example, many people feel that their childhood was normal because they may have had all their needs met materially. However, when people begin to describe past and current relationships a disturbing pattern of disconnect will emerge, along with other emotions, such as being hypersensitive to the threat of being deprived, or a pattern of chronic anger.

RELATIONSHIPS

Some people with this LT avoid romantic relationships altogether, or only get into them for a short period of time. This is an escape style of coping. Other relationship patterns that fall under this LT are: breaking off relationships when a partner starts to get to close; protecting yourself from closeness by choosing partners who are often both physically and emotionally unavailable to you; choosing partners who are physically there, but emotionally cold and ungiving. “No matter what path you take, the final outcome is the same. You wind up in a situation that is emotionally depriving, thus replicating your childhood deprivation” (p. 118).

Below is a list of danger signals by Young & Klosko (1994) to avoid during the early stages of dating b/c “they are signals that you are about to repeat the pattern again and become involved with someone who is emotionally depriving" (p. 118).

Danger Signals in the Early Stages of Dating

1. He/she doesn’t listen to me.
2. He/she does all the talking.
3. He/she is not comfortable touching or kissing me.
4. He/she is only sporadically available to me.
5. He/she is cold and aloof.
6. You are much more interested in getting close than he/she is.
7. The person is not there for you when you feel vulnerable.
8. The less available he/she is, the more obsessed you become.
9. He/she does not understand your feelings.
10. You are giving much more than you are getting.

“When several of the above signals occur at once RUN – particularly if the chemistry is very strong. Your LT has been triggered in full force. It will be hard for you to take this advice b/c all of your yearning will be directed towards staying in the relationship” (p. 118).

“Even if you choose an appropriate partner who is emotionally giving, there are still pitfalls to avoid as your relationship progresses” (p. 119):

Emotional Deprivation Life Traps in a Relationship

1. You don’t tell your partner what you need, then feel disappointed when your needs are not met.
2. You don’t tell your partner how you feel, and then feel disappointed when you are not understood.
3. You don’t allow yourself to be vulnerable so that your partner can protect or guide you.
4. You feel deprived, but you don’t say anything. You harbor resentment.
5. You become angry and demanding.
6. You constantly accuse your partner of not caring enough about you.
7. You become distant and unreachable.

“You might reinforce your deprivation by sabotaging the relationship. You might become hypersensitive to signs of neglect. You might expect your partner to read your mind and almost magically to fill your needs. Although some people Counterattack by becoming demanding in relationships, most do not ask for what they want, and then become very hurt, withdrawn or angry when [their] emotional needs are not met” (p. 119).

When people with this LT Counterattack, they are compensating for feeling deprived by becoming demanding and hostile. “These people [then become] narcissistic. They act as if they are entitled to get all their needs met. They demand a lot and often get a lot from the people who become their lovers. Narcissists have learned to fight the feelings of deprivation by becoming very demanding about other, more superficial needs. For example, you might be very demanding about what you eat, how you dress, or who you are with, or where you go. You might be very demanding about material things. You might be demanding about anything except the true object of your craving, which is emotional nurturance” (p. 120).

“Unfortunately, these material demands are ultimately a poor substitute for love and understanding, and so you are not satisfied. You go on craving tangible rewards, never addressing the underlying issue, and are never satisfied” (p. 120).

“There is an inauthentic quality to a relationship with a narcissist. Intimate encounters, even with the people they are closest to, remain superficial. If this is you, at some level you feel a sense of despair at the shallowness of your relationships. It is because you are so seldom demanding about the needs that are most pressing, the primary emotional needs, that your encounters strike a note of falseness” (p. 120).

The following list by Young & Klosko (1994) outline the beginning steps to move towards changing the cycle of emotional deprivation:

Changing Emotional Deprivation

1. Acknowledge and understand your childhood deprivation.
2. Monitor your feelings of deprivation in your current relationships. Get in touch with your needs for nurturance, empathy and guidance.
3. Review past relationships and clarify recurring patterns.
4. Avoid cold partners who generate high chemistry.
5. When you find a partner who is emotionally generous, give the relationship a chance to work. Ask for what you want. Share your vulnerability with your partner.
6. Stop blaming your partner and demanding that your needs be met.

Many people will tend to feel a mixture of both anger and grief about their deprivation. These emotions must be confronted to break this cycle, as continuing to repress such emotions and blaming others for not living up to your standards or expectations will only allow this dysfunctional cycle to continue.

“Teach yourself to notice when your LT is being triggered. It might be at a time that you feel slighted, lonely, empty or that no one understands how you feel. You might feel sad that your partner is unavailable, or cold or ungiving. You might feel angry that you always have to be the strong one, that you are always the one who takes care of your partner, and that it is never the other way around. Any strong feelings of deprivation can serve as a cue that your LT is triggered and that you should pay attention to what is going on” (p. 123).

The Universal Law of Reflection

Even though we're almost halfway through 2008, I thought this article had some valid points to reflect on ... perhaps you will enjoy it as well ...

Published by Other Authors under Life

Article Source: Manifesting Life Magick

Wow! Another new year? Where did all the time go? As you look back, did you achieve all that you set out to do last year? Are you where you want to be in all aspects of your life? How long did you follow through on your New Year’s resolutions? Or did they sputter out within a few days or a few weeks?

Well, now we get to start all over again. The good news is 2008 is the year of New Beginnings! In numerology,it is a ‘10’ year (2+0+0+8 = 10) which provides the positive energies of: creativity, expansion, progression and future oriented, leadership with courage, wisdom, and knowledge, interactive, self sufficient, high aspirations, and magnetic forces to assist in our creations. So in 2008 you can take all the lessons you’ve learned and completed from the past and apply them so you can consciously create your future. And this leads us to the Universal Law of Reflection . . . is your life reflecting back what you envision?

The Law of Reflection is ultimately the representation and manifestation of “As Above, So Below”. The Universe will reflect back to you what you shine into it. You may want to create ‘be-ing’ and living ‘Heaven on Earth’ within you and around you. However, that may not be what is necessarily showing up in your life if what you are sending to the Universe is somehow skewed. The Universe reflects back to you what you are giving to it through the expression of Self whether it is in your thoughts, words, feelings, or actions. Remember, all of these are energetic vibrations which ultimately manifest as form in your life.

So if your life is not what you envision, ask yourself where are you out of alignment with your dreams. If you desire love in your relationships and life, are you expressing love to yourself and others? And, of course, you must begin by loving yourself first then share the love with others; not the other way around. Do you love yourself free of conditions or are you judgmental and continually beat yourself up? What is the nature of your self talk? Do you even pay attention to the thoughts, words, feelings, and actions that you have toward yourself? Many don’t. This is the opportunity for you to become more conscious with your energy toward Self and others.

I love the Awareness Jar process to help people become more conscious about what they are truly creating within and around themselves. Find a big empty jar and list the types of negative energy you put out to the Universe. As you think, say, feel, or do anything negative that you have identified and want to change, you pay the jar $________ (decide on an amount that stretches you!). Some examples include: expressing lack or limitation, saying “I always or never”, “I’ll try”, “I don’t know”, “I can’t”,“I should or you should”, “I’m stupid”, or saying “I’m sorry” as an automatic response or when you don’t mean it, feel you’re not good enough or worthy, think something is too hard, do not fully commit, gossip about others or continue passing on hearsay, not deal with a person directly, engage in negative name calling, or take things personally.

The moment you become aware of any of the above negative expressions or behaviors, immediately identify a counteractive positive expression or behavior. Now, tell the Universe to Cancel or Delete the negative energy you originally sent, then send forth your new positive energy by claiming it as if it is occurring in the present tense. Initially, this allows your small egoic fear-based mind to be conditioned and uplifted into your Divine Mind and you will eventually feel it, know it, and believe it. You want to give your current mind a new job. The new job is to catch what you are honestly thinking, saying, feeling, and doing then to replace it with what you truly desire. You do it immediately as it happens. If you are at work or someplace else, you write it down and make sure to pay the jar when you get home! And no cheating! Commit to follow through on this for a minimum of 30 days with 90 days being optimum or until you have broken your old mind set and habits. Once you’re done, go out and have fun with your $s!

If you are putting out to the Universe that you want love but doing the opposite of what you intend, the Universe will reflect back to you the energy you actually sent forth. Think of the Universe as your mirror. “Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the ____________ of them all?” If you are not the most lovable of them all (to yourself) then you cannot be that with others or expect the Universe to bring it to you. But the Universe will support you by bringing you opportunities to see where you are and are not love. This shows up as the people and situations that bring you the experiences and lessons about love.

I found I kept attracting the same type of man in my personal Beloved relationships. I desired a relationship that was full of love, honor, respect, cherishing, nurturing, fun, compassion, passion, integrity, openness, intra-dependence (versus co-dependence), and honest communication. What I actually created was so far from what I desired that my body had to get my attention by becoming physically sick thus showing me, “This is not it!” The reflection was so intense so I had to look at why this was occurring. I knew it was not about who he was or was not; it was my journey to explore, learn, and heal what was coming to the surface for me to address.

In being willing to go into the awareness no matter where it took me of why the relationship was showing up the way it was, I was able to be honest with myself even if the Truth hurt. In being compassionate with myself, I was able to be present with the True energetics – the thoughts, words, feelings, and actions that I had rather being judgmental of what I was discovering from the past or what I was presently creating. The Universe reflected back to me where I needed to refine and learn how to love, respect, and honor of my Self more deeply and where I needed to communicate with my Self more openly and honestly. As I did this, I was able to admit the relationship I was in no longer served me; I experienced, learned and healed what I needed to so I could attract the man I truly desire. And interestingly enough, each man I date now is closer and closer to whom I envision my Self to be with in a committed Beloved relationship.

Remember the Universe provides you with an infinite amount of possibilities and opportunities; it does not create your life, you do. What will the Universe reflect back to you in 2008; what’s in alignment and what’s out of alignment within your expressions? What is it that you will consciously choose to create in 2008? It’s your choice – you are the Co-Creator of your world!
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Amanda Butler is a Consciousness Navigator who inspires, guides, educates, and supports individuals and groups in their exploration and discovery of their Diamond essence, their desires, and their True purpose. As a teacher and healing catalyst, Amanda Butler is President of Keenawah & Associates and Founder of Stellar-Gaia Alliances (

www.stellargaia.org). Her mission is to spread the consciousness and vibration of love to others through healing the past, enlivening the spirit, and empowering the True Self. Her Diamond Life™ Services which include: Energetic Healing Sessions (energetic re-patterning and re-balancing processes) and Conscious Choice Coaching; in-person or via phone.

Best Cities For Singles

Elisabeth Eaves 08.21.07, 6:00 PM ET

It's been a long time since single adulthood was just a hurried way station between adolescence and marriage. Today the median age of first marriage is rising for both men and women, and singles make up 41% of American adults 18 and over. In fact, most Americans can expect to spend fully half of their adult lives unmarried.

Singles are an increasingly diverse group. Being unmarried these days could mean living with an opposite-sex partner--as 9.8 million Americans did in 2005--or becoming a single mother by choice rather than necessity, a growing trend. Only about one-third of America's 90 million unmarrieds live alone, and about 14% of single adults are over the age of 65. As what it means to be single changes, the growing economic clout of singles as a class means that cities can ill afford to lose them, as sociologist Richard Florida argues in The Rise of the Creative Class.

So what lucky cities stand the best chance of attracting this crucial class? We answer that question in our seventh annual Best Cities for Singles special report. We looked at 40 of the largest urbanized areas in the country and judged them on culture, nightlife, job growth, the cost of living alone, online dating, the number of other singles and that ever-elusive quality, cool. For our complete methodology, click here.

There have been major changes in the rankings this year. The winner: San Francisco, up from fourth place. It ranked first for culture and received high marks for number of singles, nightlife, online dating and cool. (For more on the winning city, see "San Fran's Sexy Solo Scene.") The "city that never sleeps," New York, N.Y., came in a strong second place, thanks to its performance as the country's No. 1 spot for nightlife. Entertainment mecca Los Angeles came in third, Atlanta fourth and Chicago fifth. Rounding out the top 10 are Washington D.C., San Diego, Seattle, Dallas-Fort Worth and Philadelphia.

Denver, meanwhile, our top-ranked city from 2004 to 2006, has dropped to 16th place. But before Denver city elders start beating themselves up over this, we should note that this is largely because, amid several refinements to our methodology this year, we've switched to a new way of defining each city. In the past, the boundaries and population of each city were drawn from the U.S. Census Bureau's list of "Metropolitan Statistical Areas." But in 2007, we've begun using the Census Bureau's "Urbanized Area," which provides a tighter focus on cities themselves.

That means the youthful, nearby city of Boulder is no longer included in our assessment of Denver, and that hurt the Mile-High City a lot. But Denver still has one major draw for singles: It's ranked No. 1 on affordability.

Our switch to the Census Bureau's "urbanized area" definition also means several cities that had been on our list in previous years--Nashville and North Carolina's Charlotte, Greensboro and Raleigh-Durham--are no longer included, since they lack a large enough central population in their urban centers. Several new cities--Jacksonville, Fla., Buffalo, N.Y., Memphis and Baltimore--replace them.

Also new this year: We selected a "most eligible" bachelor and bachelorette for many of our cities. Like any such list, our picks are a bit subjective and somewhat eclectic. We started by getting nominations from locals and held a newsroom poll to determine the winners. We considered only public figures--which is why the list is heavy on athletes and news anchors--and which is also why your brother the charming and handsome surgeon didn't get chosen. To determine eligibility, we merely confirmed that our selections were not married. We did not check to see if they had a "serious" boyfriend or girlfriend.

Of course, being single is about much more than just dating. Providence, R.I., fell to the bottom of our list this year. That's partly because it came in last in the online dating category. But it also scored low in several other categories, coming 35th in job growth. Singles want to know that they'll be able to nurture an interesting and prosperous career, and Providence just doesn't look that promising.

The ease of mobility these days means that the young, educated and unattached can live pretty much where they please. Our special report provides a dash of guidance for singles themselves, as well as to the cities and companies that want to lure them.

San Francisco-Oakland
New York
Los Angeles
Atlanta
Chicago
Washington
San Diego
Seattle
Dallas-Fort Worth
Philadelphia
Boston
Austin
Minneapolis-St. Paul
Houston
Phoenix
Denver-Aurora
New Orleans
Las Vegas
Columbus
Miami

Forbes List: Best Cities For Young Professionals

Matt Woolsey, 11.26.07, 6:00 PM ET

Head to the Big Apple, and your chances of getting the corner office might not be as far off as you think. That's because New York City tops our list as the No. 1 city for young professionals. That likely comes as a shock to, well, no one. Many of America's best companies, as determined by Forbes rankings of the best 400 big businesses and best 200 small businesses, including financial giant Goldman Sachs and media conglomerate News Corp. are in New York. Throw in New York's bars, clubs and world-class dining, and you get a city teeming with young professionals. In Pictures: Best Cities For Young Professionals

San Francisco clocked in at No. 2 and Atlanta at No. 3. Los Angeles, Washington, D.C., Boston and Seattle filled spots four through seven, and Minneapolis, Philadelphia and Denver closed out the top 10.

Behind The Numbers

Our list was compiled by tracking where the graduates of top universities across the country ended up 10 years after commencement; where the best business opportunities exist; which cities had the most young and unmarried people; and which cities paid young professionals the best.

To see where graduates of elite schools chose to pursue their careers, we looked at Class of 1997 alumni location data from six elite universities across the country--Harvard, Princeton, Duke, Stanford, Northwestern and Rice. The data indicated where graduates have settled 10 years later, and where their professional lives have matured.

We then excluded alumni that remained close to school. Harvard grads in Massachusetts--nixed; Dukies who stayed in North Carolina--gone; Stanford Cardinal roosting in California--tossed.

The goal: to determine which cities offer such strong opportunities for young professionals that they're willing to pick up and move across the country for them.

Some cities are bigger than others, of course. So we adjusted where elite grads ended up against overall population size to measure the respective concentrations of young professionals. This allowed smaller cities such as Portland and Austin to compete equally with heavyweights such as New York and Los Angeles.

In Depth: Ladder Climbers Sweet On The Big Apple

In Depth: Cloudy Skies For Tampa's Young Professionals

Then we stirred the locations of prized jobs into the mix. Each year, Forbes selects America's 400 best big businesses and 200 best small businesses. We used the locations of those 600 companies to determine which cities had the best professional opportunities for the under-35 set.

Money is important too. To figure out how far yearly income will go, we measured cities' variations in starting salary using data from New York-based Mercer Human Resource Consulting and adjusted it for cost of living with our own Forbes index; the idea being that the more greenhorn grads a city can attract with a decent salary to cost of living ratio, the more likely they'll stay and develop in that area.

Of course, even the most driven young professionals need to let off steam. With that in mind, the final metric was measured which cities had the highest share of never-married people in their 20s and 30s. Never married is an important qualifier. For example, of the 40 largest cities, Salt Lake City has the third-highest population share of people ages 25 to 34, but its standing as No. 27 in the never-married category really puts a damper on the nightlife. The bottom 10 cities were brought down by a variety of causes. Salary to cost of living submarined Miami, Norfolk, Va., and San Antonio. The inability to attract top grads and top companies hurt Detroit and Las Vegas, and all our measurements converged on Tampa, Fla., beating it down to last place on our list.

Creating Wealth And Abundance… Is There A Secret?

Published by Other Authors under Law of Attraction, Manifesting Abundance
Article Source: Manifesting Life Magick

Is there a person in the world who does not want abundance in their lives? Do people want to live in poverty? Of course not, but how does one go about gaining the abundance they desire?

Why are some people wealthy and others poor? Some might say that it is just the way the world works; the rich get richer and the poor get poorer, and it is usually the rich taking from the poor that makes it so. But, is that true? I guess it depends on perspective.

Granted, there are people who are born into wealthy families, who never have to put much thought into how to get the things they desire, but those are not the people I want to discuss. After all, some people born with a silver spoon in their mouths die bankrupt. I want to talk about the people who have everything they want as the result of doing something to get it.

Why is it that some people seem to attract money, good fortune, fame, etc., while others seem to fail at everything? One word… ATTITUDE!

The Secret, really is no secret at all. It is all in the application of the Law of Attraction. The ‘haves’ know and practice it, and the ‘have-nots’ don’t. It is that simple.

What is the Law of Attraction? It is the scientific principle that states: Like attracts like. If you think about having debt, you will have debt. If you think about wealth, you will attract wealth. If you think about being unhappy, you will be unhappy. If you think about happiness, you will be happy.

For example: When a person focuses on all of the things they don’t have, they become frustrated, angry, and unhappy. But if that same person put the same amount of energy into being grateful for all that they do have, they would begin to feel good. When a person feels good, they go about their day doing things that perpetuate that feeling; attracting more into their life to make them feel even better. When a person feels bad, they tend to do things that perpetuate that feeling too.

Remember what Tinkerbell told Peter Pan…? If you want to fly, just think a happy thought. That is how the Law of Attraction works. Think happy thoughts, focus on them, and take action. You just cannot feel bad, when you’re thinking about good things.

Good thoughts lead to more good thoughts and ultimately to good actions. Bad thoughts lead to more bad thoughts and… You get the picture. People have been writing about it for a very long time. People like: Norman Vincent Peale, Napoleon Hill, Wallace D. Wattles, etc.. They knew about the Law of Attraction and wrote about it. Millions have read their books, and have learned the secret through them. In fact, the hit movie, The Secret, was based on Wallace D. Wattles book, The Science of Getting Rich, which is all about the Law of Attraction.

It all boils down to this: If you want abundance in your life, you must think about having it, not about not having it. Think about what you have, and be grateful for it, what you want; not about what you lack.

What is the Science of Getting Rich about? The ownership of money and property comes as a result of doing things in a certain way. Those who do things in this certain way, get rich. Those who do not do things in this certain way, no matter how hard they work or how able they are, remain poor. It is a natural law that like causes always produce like effects. Therefore, any man or woman who learns to do things in this certain way will infallibly get rich. The Science of Getting Rich Seminar is all about teaching how to do things in this “certain” way to create wealth.
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For more information about the Law of Attraction and how to put it into practice visit: http://luckyfolks.thesgrprogram.com/
Ilona & Christian Fredebeul are two young entrepreneurs from cologne/germany. Since 2005 they work with the most reliable wealth and personal development teachers in the US and share their knowledge and their success with every person willing to learn simple steps and to following proven methods.

Find Happiness By Giving Happiness

Published by Other Authors under E-motions, Life
Article Source: Manifesting Life Magick

Have you ever heard this quote?

“There is a wonderful, mystical law of nature that the three things we crave most in life- happiness, freedom, and peace of mind- are always attained by giving them to someone else.”

It’s so true, isn’t it? I don’t know who it was who first said those wise words (if you do know then please tell me), but I have no doubt they lived a very happy life, because they have discovered one of the secrets to happiness.

In fact, the secret to success in all endeavours is found in this quote. No matter what you desire, give first and you will receive.

If you want to receive love, then give love. Not exclusively to one person, but to everyone and everything. Express love to your life, your circumstances, your friends and family, and even the people you pass in the street. If you love all, you will receive love back, and you’ll become the kind of person who attracts that special person, and those special relationships, and a life of blissful love.

If you want to get rich then don’t do it through the dog-eat-dog world of competition and win-lose deals. Give increased value to others. Wallace D. Wattles talks about this in his book Science Of Getting Rich better than anyone else I’ve come across (see the Resources Page on my website to get a free copy). You get rich by providing more in use-value than the cash-value you receive. You get rich through co-operation rather than competition. You get rich through providing win-win deals. You get rich through providing others with the opportunities to improve their own lives. Once again, give and you will receive so much more back.

The same applies to happiness. If you want to be happy, give happiness.

Turn your focus around. It’s not all about you. Look out into the world and find opportunities to give happiness.

James Matthew Barrie said, “Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves.”

The great Mark Twain said, “The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.”

Give happiness and you will get happiness. It’s the only way.

Who can you make happy today?

Who can you go and see, just to hang out together?

Who can you phone to tell them you miss them?

It doesn’t take much. Smile to someone who is feeling down. Hold a door open for someone behind you. Compliment someone on their clothing. Thank someone for a job well done at work.

Happiness is so easy. Just give it to someone else, and you’ll find more than enough is magically left behind for you.

Give happiness. Be happy. And smile!

Lance Beggs
Copyright Lance Beggs. All Rights Reserved.
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Lance Beggs is the author of “How to be Happy Now”. His mission is to help others live a life of meaning, love and happiness! Subscribe to his FREE ezine at www.HowToBeHappyNow.com

Is Anyone Listening?

If anyone out there is hung up on the judgment that age is a predetermined factor in deciding the level of one's intelligence, I highly suggest you watch this video. We can learn just as much from our youth as they can learn from us. Hopefully sometime during my lifetime I will be able to see them honored as such. Our future generations deserve so much more than we are currently giving them.